The Evolution of the Pregnant Lady's Grocery List

*Starred items have been vomited up at least once.

First Trimester
Prescription Zofran* for vomiting prevention, three bottles
Dried ginger fruit*, for vomiting prevention
Altoids peppermints*, for vomiting prevention
Sprite*, for vomiting prevention
Flinstones vitamins*, as cannot stomach prenatals
Saltine crackers*, served plain
Chicken broth*, served plain
Bananas*, served plain
Cucumbers*, served plain
Green grapes*, served plain
Almonds*, served plain
Cheese squares*, served plain
Vanilla yogurt*, served plain
Vanilla ice cream*, served plain
Bread*, served plain
Pringles*, served plain
Pretzels*, served plain
Hard-boiled eggs*, served plain
Nutrigrain Bars* and Odwalla protein drink*, as bland midnight snack
Pedialyte*, for recovering from dehydration after vomiting incessantly
Extra plastic grocery bags to tuck in purse in case of vomiting in public

Second Trimester
Prescription Zofran* for vomiting prevention, one bottle
Prenatal vitamins*
Fruit Loops, Grape Nuts*, Cherrios, Life Cereal, Frosted Mini Wheats
Two gallons of milk weekly
Metamucil, All-Bran Cereal*, Phillip’s Milk of Magnesia* for coping with unpleasant side effects of Zofran
Strawberries, bananas, pears, apples, cantaloupe, carrot sticks, celery sticks, salad fixings, dried fruit, fruit drinks, V8, and $25 party platter of fruits and veges if budget allows
Chicken, pork chops and two servings per week of fish – baby likes white meat
Steak* – baby don’t like dark meat
Five boxes Girl Scout Cookies, Samoa flavor for Momma-to-be
Three bags Gummi Worms for Daddy-to-be who has replaced a cigarette smoking habit with yummier gummi habit
Dandruff shampoo, extra-strength body lotion and Chapstick for excessively dry skin
Tea tree oil for acne, backne, neckne, chestne and other assorted breakouts

Third Trimester
Prenatal vitamins
Fruit Loops, Grape Nuts, Cherrios, Life Cereal, Frosted Mini Wheats
Cupcakes in vanilla on vanilla, chocolate on chocolate, vanilla on marble, chocolate on marble and any other flavors they come in
Miniature Hershey’s Bars
Fixings for homemade chocolate chip cookies
Plenty of fruits, veges, lean meats and fishes
Two gallons of milk weekly
Tylenol for pain of pubic bone splitting
Tums for frequent heartburn
Witch hazel and sitz bath for post-partum healing
Diapers
Butt Paste for baby
Wipes
Baby bath wash
Bottles
Pacifiers
Hope! (Available at checkout)